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03 December 2009 @ 12:45 pm
Why do they bother?  
Serious question. Why do they bother?

I'm talking about this whole idea of bringing e-fedding communities together. Why does anyone bother with this nonsense?

The idea that communities like PTC, FWC, PRIME, EWTorch, EWZine, the millions of angelfire leagues and any other I'm not personally aware of truly want to come together for any sort of common purpose or to put on any kind of showcase where the hobby benefits and everybody wins is horseshit. The idea that these communities want to come together for a tournament to compete with each other legitimately and honestly to see who is the best is even more horseshit to an exponential level.

Let's start with the premise behind these things.

"We want to bring communities together."

No you don't. Don't lie to me with that bullshit. I'm a grown ass man. I've been married over ten years, am raising three children - one of which is in high school, and I'm not a moron.

No one wants to bring anything together. Everyone involved wants to highlight themselves. Everyone involved wants to prove their way of doing things is the right/best way of doing it. That's why everyone is interested only so long as they're still involved. As soon as they lose one of two things will happen. They will either A) Disappear back from whence they came, never to be heard from again or B) Complain bitterly about the obvious bias that brought about their early exit.

Nothing is brought together, nothing is gained and the poor sap who in good faith wanted to bring this big event about gets nothing but a headache for his trouble.

That's just fact. If you don't agree with me, so be it. No, strike that. If you don't agree with me, you're an idiot. A big flaming shitpile of idiot wrapped into a ball of moron.

Ben Halkum, dude I don't know you from shit. But let me tell you something, and I am telling you this in the spirit of helping you.


The videos were embarrassing to the point of turning you into the borderline special ed kid who isn't allowed to access the University's radio station offices so he pirates his own but can't even get over his own slurred mongoloid speech, showing everyone why the real station wouldn't let him in the building in the first place.

You want to do this. You tried to do this.

It was unbelievably awful. It made me want to slap you. Not even punch. Slap. Because it made you look like a heaping pool of vagina begging for contributions to a concept that was inane from the get go. Two episodes in and you gave up. THANK GOD. I would be humiliated if a copy of something like that I did got out, if I did it when I was 11. I did an audio tape once of me pretending to be a DJ while then playing songs I had recorded off the radio. It was 1986 and it was embarrassing. To add on to this humiliation, while I have a pretty neutral accent for a guy born and raised in Texas now, when I was 11 I sounded like Forrest Gump. Not my finest hour. But you look like you're in your 20s, man. PLEASE. STOP. Or please don't have kids. I don't know if that's in danger of happening any time soon. Like I said, I don't know you. But someone's gonna find that shit on the internet. Someone's gonna find it, and someone's gonna say..... "Dude... is that your...DAD??" and the kid is immediately gonna be known as the kid with the dorky father and will likely spend the rest of his educational life getting spitballs thrown at the back of his head and the hard toe of a boot kicked into his rectum. Trust me. Hell, I might've been the one asking if that was his dad when I was that age and I might've even thrown a spitball or two. As for the boots... well, I was raised in Texas but I'm not really a boot kinda guy.

The final thing I'll say on that last video is this: dude, you were talking about giving away video games as prizes in a contest - except they were Xbox and PS2 games. Were these your old used games from high school, Ben? My God man.

I digress.

Why did this topic come into my head today?

Well, I've been in several TEAM events. I've watched the infighting, I've watched the bitchy whining about losses, the accusations of bias... I've seen it all. And now, we have this J Cup thing.

I saw the results thread on FWC, figured... I'll check this out. But first, let me read the feedback to see what I'm getting myself into. After all, my card reading time is valuable. I don't wanna think I'm about to read A Tale of Two Cities then it turns out to be the Chyna autobiography.

Right out of the chute.... first feedback post is a complaint about results. The next four posts agree with this first post or have a complaint of their own. Guess what?

I'm out.

This is a big fat pointless waste of time.

Joey? Again, I don't know you... but let me assure you...


None of these people give a rat's ass about anything other than trying to show off what they think is their amazing RP skill and as soon as you job one of them, the accusations will fly, the personal attacks will start on one side or the other and it all unravels.

So what's the solution to all of this?


Stop trying to understand the EWZine and EWTorch crowd if you're in FWC. I'm an FWC guy. Those guys over there that jump over to our group for TEAM events or whatever? My experience is they have a huge tendency toward drama and basic girl on girl slapfighting behavior. There is regular public calling out, regular bitching about irrelevant nonsense and general sense that everyone just wants to get one up on everyone else. That's my sense of it. Is it accurate? Well, this is my fucking blog - so yes, it's accurate.

FWC has a very strict no public airing of complaints policy. Private messaging function is there for a reason and we expect people to use it. If someone breaks this rule, that thread or post is deleted quickly. It's unacceptable behavior. Therefore, there are no big drama dust ups. Sometimes we deal with the after effects of private drama, but that's the place for it. Act like grown ass men instead of people who are unbelievable nerds and losers in real life and through e-fedding have found one place where they can express their superiority over someone in something. That's what those other communities seem like to me.

I've been asked to go do various feds over there multiple times in my life. I never have done it. Why? I already know what would happen. I'd get tired of all the pussy ass bitching and leave immediately. I don't have time for that shit. I just don't.

So what does that mean? Do we all go isolationist?

No, that's not what I'm advocating. I welcome and recommend that everyone try something different if it looks like something that's up your alley. But I'm sick of people saying, oh... come to my fed and just RP in the style you're used to.

No motherfucker. Come to my fed and add your distinctiveness to it, but blend in to some measure or your ass is gonna be making a quick U-Turn right back out. No one wants to judge fifty types of roleplay. I get enough headaches without reading about how you met the awesome fuckin' stewardess on your flight from one show to the next, she got midair flight attendant rage on you and how it makes you feel. I mean yeah, you understand her frustration and the choices she has to make, after all there must me a thousand ways to tie that neckerchief but why shit on you, right? I mean, if she wants to jump down your throat because.... HEY FUCK HEAD!! NO ONE GIVES A SHIT.

Make your fed distinctive. Give it character and a style all it's own. Stand out.

I run Empire Pro, alright?

I don't compete with NFW. I don't compete with WFW:NE. I don't compete with anybody else. I compete with myself. I compete with what I've done in the past and I want to make my handler feel a deep sense of pride in what we do in EPW. I don't give a shit what NFW does unless I'm handling there right now. That's not a knock on Katz and his product. It's a statement. I don't read his shows, at all. I'm not reading one of his PPVs and thinking "whoa, how're we gonna top that??". No. Do your thing, Katz.

He fills a valuable role in our community. His style is different from mine and I love that. Same with the other feds. You should have a place in one of these feds if you're a RP Fed kinda guy. There's something for everyone. THAT is what a community is.

I wouldn't do narrative if you paid me, and believe me Lindsay has all BUT tried to pay me to do it. It's not me. I don't wanna do a joint show with PRIME. What a complete fucking waste of time.

Do what you do, people. Invite people to come check out your style. But stop acting like anybody gives a damn about some big new world order of the e-fedding world.

Stop the cross community tournaments and stop the delusion that anything of the sort could be fair or have any point other than to frustrate all involved.


That's all.
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
TH, boyeeeee: Jerichoholzerhedrpca on December 3rd, 2009 08:00 pm (UTC)
Where's the "get off my lawn" tag? :p
(Anonymous) on December 3rd, 2009 08:26 pm (UTC)

I agree with you 100%, I've been around since the Prodigy days, when people were doing Unified stuff and/or trying to work together, and it just causes a lot of avoidable stress for everyone. This hobby of ours is supposed to be fun. When you have to worry about the politics that comes with this kind of stuff, when you have to worry about how your guys look, that isn't fun.

I've always been a fan of doing your own thing in your own corner of the universe and concentrating on that. I don't even really read all that much of other feds except when Stanton was doing the roundtable program and I needed to RP Jacobs.

(Anonymous) on December 3rd, 2009 10:00 pm (UTC)
To the first half of this lovely blog post...

Aside from a cage blowing up, I don't think anyone really complained much during the Ultratitle years...and it wasn't even the people in the match. (well, nobody complained to my face that is.)

I think these tournaments/interfed ideas have to be run by certain people.

No offense to Holzerman or Halkum, but they are not the right types to pull it off with any consistency. They're too nice, too amicable and too willing to let other cooks in the kitchen...in Holzerman's case, it was the amount of different judges from different communities. In Halkum's case, well...its the "special" people he likes surrounding him...and he's quite "special" too.

So, obviously if we ever want those things to work we just need a crazy-ass dick that does alot of drugs, thinks everyone's shit stinks, but his own. And enough crazy people willing to believe in that and put faith in this one person for whatever unforeseen ungodly reason.

'Cause let's face it...if I ran a 128-entrant Ultratitle Tournament, people wouldn't say shit about the results 'cause they'd be scared of their characters being burnt alive, blown to pieces or decapitated in the middle of a Sand Pirate Desert War at the hands of a peyoted out Mike Randalls.

And in the end...that's how it should be.

valeriansgardenvaleriansgarden on December 3rd, 2009 10:22 pm (UTC)
I'll do it!

thus says the shadow pope.
(Anonymous) on December 4th, 2009 03:06 am (UTC)
I RP Castor V. Strife, Problem Child, and a guy named Just One Dude Looking for Adventure, yet Totally Willing to Party Along the Way. There's really not much you could do to embarrass my characters that they haven't already done to themselves. I mean, shit, Problem Child trips out on CSWA ice cream bars and has adventures with imaginary versions of YOUR characters. I'm immune to your punishment, MUSTdie.
(Anonymous) on December 4th, 2009 03:23 am (UTC)
I could job Castor to Hulk Halkum after a legdrop, which in turn...causes Castor to give up wrestling, pornography and all those other 'things' for a nice life of Methodism and Golf.
(Anonymous) on December 4th, 2009 10:03 am (UTC)
LOL, Hulk Halkum. Funny thing is, I know deep down you have a burning desire to do this, but are fighting the urge.

...you ARE fighting the urge, aren't you??
TH, boyeeeeeholzerhedrpca on December 4th, 2009 04:02 am (UTC)
What was I going to do to Khalid Jad and the other WfWA douchebag who went onto their boards for sanctuary other than attack them there and leave myself open, only to have them compliment Lindz for saying the same things I was saying in similar tone to me? Job them out in TEAM to Roderick McRatrick in an electrified dildo match? It would have been funny to us, but pointless because after the ToC, they weren't coming near TEAM or even FWC with a 10-foot pole. Nothing would have been accomplished other than getting a few petty laughs at something that maybe three of us would have found funny.

It's not that I was too nice. It was that I went to a community that wasn't as mature as PTC was and expected to get the same results I got welcoming PTC into TEAM.
(Anonymous) on December 4th, 2009 04:36 am (UTC)
PTC'ers have complained about TEAM as much as WfWA. And it's not because of who's running it. In my opinion, it was because of the different community judges that are employed from round to round.

TH, boyeeeeeholzerhedrpca on December 4th, 2009 12:51 pm (UTC)
Aside from Bagwell, who from PTC really went off the deep end like the WfWA guys did?
(Anonymous) on December 4th, 2009 01:10 pm (UTC)
Bagwell isn't from PTC, he's from that fed called GCW :P

(Anonymous) on December 4th, 2009 03:33 pm (UTC)
Holzerman...I'm just going to stop here before I start ending up as my own topic on your blog.

(Deleted comment)
TH, boyeeeeeholzerhedrpca on December 4th, 2009 12:52 pm (UTC)